


Are you ready for this?

by Jossasund



Series: My collection of swanqueen one-shots [24]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 16:12:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13217376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: "I have hook and you have hood...But is that what we want?""Emma?""Cause I'm not sure anymore"





	Are you ready for this?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot inspeered by a fan made swan queenpic, hope you'll enjoy :)

It was a rainy day as Emma and Regina sat down by the lake. This had been a routine throughout the years for the two women. This was their special spot to wind down at, but sadly, it was something they rarely did anymore.

Life just wasn't as easy and simple as it once had been.

But still, the two close friends tried to come here once in a while, even if it wasn't as often as they had both wished.

Today their busy schedules had allowed this and they sat close to each other, as they always had, talking and laughing. It was in the middle of one of Emma's stories about her day, when Regina's hand accidentally brushed against hers.

Their eyes met, but the brunette quickly pulled back. She cleared her throat and offered Emma a crooked smile.

“Sorry…” Regina said, almost whispered, and Emma tugged on her lower lip. The two women looked back at the lake again in silence as the wind whirled through the trees, reminding them about how different life was these days.

******

“So, is everything okay with you and ehm, hood?“ Emma asked, almost forced, as she didn't want to even touch the subject, but still felt the need to.

Emma had always spoken her mind, but this was a subject they had hardly spoken about. Why, Regina didn't really know, but she guessed it was just hard for them to talk about…

The biggest reason was probably because it reminded them about how different life had been before, when they had been inseparable, and how the both of them had thrown away a close friendship that could have become something so, so much more.

****

Regina nodded a yes and met Emma's twinkling eyes. The blonde had such kind eyes, so honest, but yet they were so conflicted. Despite that, they were the only eyes that the brunette could spend hours simply looking into.

_ But she didn't. _

Regina hardly met them these days, because Emma was someone else's, and if she looked into her eyes for too long, she wouldn't be able to deny her feelings for Emma. Feelings she knew would never get answered. And should never be spoken out loud about.

Suddenly Emma sat up and seemed anxious and Regina quirked an eyebrow when the blonde cleared her throat. She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts just as Regina had been.  _ I wonder what goes on in her head  _ the brunette thought to herself.

“I have Hook and you have Hood… “

There was a long silence and you could almost cut the tension with a knife. The first thought that crossed Regina's mind, was to leave.

**To run.**

She feared what way this conversation could turn, but at the same time, she wanted to open up. Even if nothing would ever change.  

“But… are we sure that's what we really want?“

Emma's voice broke, and Regina froze. She felt how the whole world around them simply disappeared and the only thing she could see clear as crystal, was the trembling blonde in front of her.

“Emma?“ Regina said, with a low and shaking voice as her hands automatically but gently gripped the blondes. Without any further talking, she pulled the younger woman into a hug and placed a timid kiss on her head.

_ I need to feel you  _ Regina thought to herself.

*****

They sat like that for a long while, simply enjoying each other's closeness and safety. They had drawn safety from each other like this so many times before, that it felt so natural to sit like this.

“Cause… I’m not so sure anymore,” Emma finally admitted and released herself from Regina's arms. Emma reached out and let her fingertips brush against Regina's plump lips and as she reached the scar on the former Queen’s lips, Emma finally did what she had wanted to do for such a long time.

She kissed Regina.

The kiss caught Regina totally off guard, but it made her smile, and she quickly deepened it, because she had dreamed about this, for what felt like forever.

Regina had dreamt of this day, when their lips would connect like this, when they would become one, and for the first time in a long time, Regina felt truly happy.

******

Emma relaxed when Regina depended the kiss and as they pulled apart, she felt almost like a giggling school girl.

“You don't know how long I've wanted to do that…“ Emma said, but reality quickly caught up and she pulled back, feeling ashamed over what had just happened between them. This was wrong. They both had relationships. 

Emma just didn't want to hurt neither of them, because they were good guys, well at least Robin after further thought… anyway, the blonde felt like she'd hurt way too many people in her life already…

It was almost like Regina could read her thoughts though, and she gently put her finger under Emma's chin, and made her meet her eyes.

“Emma, relax.”

The blonde sighed and even if she wanted to look away, pull back again and run off, she sat completely still and looked at Regina. She didn't want anything more than to just kiss her again, but she didn't.

“Emma, you're afraid, I can see that in your eyes, and you're questioning yourself about all this, but don't shut me out, please?”

Emma nodded and Regina stroke her cheek gently.

“Thank you, dear. And remember I've hurt far more people than you have throughout my life, trust me Miss Swan,” Regina said with a small smile and it was almost like all the anxiety washed away in a second off of Emma.

And something just clicked.

*****

“So, just to be clear, does this mean what I think it means?“ Emma asked carefully as she met her Queen's eyes. It amazed her that even if Regina had been through so much pain in her life and abuse, her eyes were still filled with pride, love and compassion.They looked so beautiful, honest and made Emma feel so relaxed and comfortable. She simply felt… at home.

Regina chuckled and brought the blonde back to reality.

“Well, that depends on what you want this to mean, dear,” the brunette said with a smirk and Emma rolled her eyes playfully, when Regina spoke up again.

“But are you ready for this?“

As those words left the tip of Regina's tongue, Emma shrugged.

“I don't know.. “ the blonde admitted, and quickly added, “but I'm worried about my family's reaction.. What if I lose them.. You know.. Because of this…?”

Regina nodded and knew that was unfortunately a possibility. She and Emma's mother, Snow didn't have a good history (for obvious reasons) and Regina wasn't sure how she would react over hearing her only daughter had feelings for the former evil queen.

“Don't worry Emma. It will be okay.”

*****

The next day when Hook prepared breakfast, Emma's nerves got the best of her. She had decided to talk to her boyfriend about this whole… situation, but before she even had the chance to say anything, Hook quickly noticed something was troubling her. 

He was used to Emma's clumsiness but this was different, even for her since she almost dropped her coffee cup due to her shaking hands, as her whole face screamed of anxiety.

“What's wrong, love? You look like you've seen a ghost,“ he asked carefully and Emma swallowed hard, feeling her heart beating so hard in her chest.

“There's just… oh, fuck… I don't even know where to start… “ the blonde groaned, frustrated over her inability to talk about her feelings.

She had always had difficulties expressing her feelings for people and such, but this time it was almost extreme, because she almost froze and her mind went blank.

_ I'm gonna break his heart… but I will break mine if I stay with him..  _

*******

After sending Henry off to see a friend, Regina decided to talk to Robin about Emma and she was absolutely terrified, but as always, it didn't show. Regina had the best poker face of them all.

“Robin, I have to.. I have to break up with you,” she said straight out and the man raised an eyebrow. 

“Is there anything I've done?“ he asked gently and Regina almost started to cry, simply because he was so kind and sweet.

Any other guy would become angry over hearing something and some even violent, but not Robin. He just sat patiently next to her and waited for her to answer his question. It broke her heart in a way, because she loved Robin, but not as much as she loved Emma.

“Well.. “ Regina said, and dragged her fingers through her long hair, “I know this will probably come as a shock, but it is because I have feelings for Emma.”

She flinched when Robin gently took one of her hands in his and kissed her knuckles, before he smiled at her.  _ How can he be this calm?  _ She thought to herself.

“Oh I'm so happy that you're finally being honest with yourself,” Robin said and Regina couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew he was a true gentleman, but this wasn't the reaction she'd expected.

It wasn't even close.

“Did you.. did you know I felt this way for her?“ Regina questioned.  _ How?  _ She thought to herself. How could he know?

“I would be blind if I wouldn't have noticed the way you look at her, and you have my full support.”

The queen felt the tears sting in her eyes and Robin saw it, so he pulled her into a hug, and once he had done that, Regina broke down in tears.

“Oh my beautiful Regina, don't cry. And I mean it when I say that I'm proud of you, okay?“ he said and wiped away her tears and pressed a kiss to her temple. “But I will admit I'm sad I'm not going to be your happy ending.”

“I'm sorry for doing this though Robin. I'm so sorry. It seems that the only thing I seem to do right, is hurt people,“ Regina sighed.

“No, no Regina, don't look at it like that. You're simply struggling to find your happiness, but now you're on the right way my dear,” he said and stood to his feet. She gazed into his beautiful eyes and smiled at him, before he went upstairs to pack his things.

Regina quickly missed the warmth and safety of Robin, but she was so happy that he supported her. She wasn't used to people doing that.

Then the queen wondered how Hook had taken this, but she was almost certain he hadn't handled it as calm as Robin.

******

“So love, please, tell me what's going on. I'm worried,” Hook said since Emma had become silent and almost disappeared into her own world. Hearing Hook’s voice though, made Emma snap back to reality.

“I have feelings for Regina and I hate myself for it but… that's how it is” she said in one breath and the former pirate flew up from his chair, knocking it down on the floor.

“Has she put you under some spell?!“ Hook snapped, and Emma rolled her eyes. Of course he would presume something idiotic like that…

“No, she hasn't,” Emma shot back, as she grit her teeth.

“You can't be serious, love, you can't have feelings for the evil queen! “

The blood started to boil in Emma and she just wanted to give Hook a punch straight to his face, because he was behaving like such an idiot.

“But I do and you can't do shit about it!“

Hook took a step closer but Emma didn't move so much as a centimeter. She wasn't afraid of him, and he knew she could easily match his strength. So he just clenched his fists and spat on the floor.

“You will regret this, love, trust me. The queen doesn't want anything else other than to rip out your heart!”

“Just get the fuck out of my house,” Emma sneered and the pirate quickly did as he was told. She hoped he wouldn't come back for his stuff until later, because she couldn't even stomach the thought of being in the same room as him at the moment.

_ Stupid pirate...  _ She thought to herself as her mother and father came to mind.

_ How would they react to this? And Henry? How would he react? _

_ ***** _

The blonde shook her head and thought about herself for a second, something she never had done before.

She thought about her life and how hard it had been. She thought about all the lonely nights when she had grown up, living in all those different foster homes, never really feeling loved. 

Then suddenly the thought of Henry's father, Neal came to mind.

He was probably the person who had hurt her more than anyone. She had fallen for him in a second, and believed his every word he said about their future together. 

Emma had actually believed he was her one true love, and that he would be the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

But he had broken her heart completely, and just thinking about it made her want to cry. Neal had almost destroyed her ability to trust anyone ever again.

He had knocked her up, left, and made her take the fall for his shit. And the little piece that had been left of her heart, had been broken once again when she had been forced to give her kid up…

Emma wiped away a tear and remembered the day when Henry had been born, and how she had refused to even look at the boy because it was too painful. 

Life had, in other words, always been hard for Emma and she had never had someone she could rely on or trust. She was always on guard.

Well, that had been before Regina had entered her life.

Regina and Emma had absolutely  **hated** each other in the beginning, but over time they had become friends.

And as time passed by, Emma had slowly become brave enough to let the queen inside her high walls. Despite that, Emma had just been waiting for Regina to leave her in pieces. Just like everyone else always did.

But it never happened.

Instead Regina had never left her side.

******

Regina sipped on her cider and wondered how Hook had taken all this, but mostly wondered if Emma had even been able to have the conversation with him.

She wouldn't blame Emma if she didn't talk to him though. Mostly because Regina was used to people using her and in the end, leaving her broken and alone.

It had happened throughout Regina's whole life, and her mother had been one of those who had hurt her. Used her and spit her out when she wasn't useful anymore.

Regina shivered and suddenly questioned if she had destroyed her only chance of happiness and having someone to call her own, by breaking up with Robin, even if she knew Emma had feelings for her.

But then again, Regina was still the evil queen in everyone's eyes and villains didn't get happy endings.

She, if anybody would know that.

****

Then there was a sudden knock on her door.

Regina put down her glass of cider and walked out in the hallway, and opened the door.

“Hey,” Emma said with a careful smile and Regina felt her heart skip a beat, surprised that Emma had actually showed up, because she hadn't expected it.

“Miss Swan, what.. “ before the brunette was able to even finish her sentence, she was cut off as Emma pressed her lips against hers.

This kiss was different than the one they had shared before. It wasn't rushed or something they felt bad over. This kiss felt natural, and they truly were one now as their lips were pressed against each others.

When the kiss was over and their eyes met, Emma took Regina's hands in hers, and they stood in silence for a short while, before the blonde finally spoke up, as a smile spread on her lips.

“I'm ready for this, if you are.”


End file.
